How far can you tolerate caning from school teacher
I have this philosophy. No matter how naughty is other people’s child, I will just tell them off for their own good and will not touch (cane) them cos that is not my child. Only the child’s parent has the right to cane their own child.
How about, if you are a teacher, would you cane your student for their own good? For example, Princess who is 7 y/o forgot to bring one of her book. She did not do it on purpose. I know that cos she packed all her books and mistakenly placed that book in another bag. Of course she get caned on her palm. Of course she cried. Of course I am so heart sake to see her cry. It’s not a normal crying. I’m her mother I know her best. She is so tramautized by that incident. She cried like I’m the one lying in the coffin! (*touch wood)
Come on! She’s only 7 y/o and this is the first time she forgot to bring her book. Can’t the teacher gave her a second chance? I wonder who gave teachers permission to cane? I consoled daughter and telling her at she’s at fault, “Take this is a lesson lor. Next time remember to bring your books. Cry also no use. Already get caned.” I know “Spare the cane, spoilt the child” but I have to stand on daughter’s side too.
If I don’t confront the teacher, they are taking the answer as “Yes! You can cane my child.” For goodness sake, it is just a book. She’s not stealing or drawing graffiti or doing something bad. The teacher could at least punish her like stand throughout lesson or something like that.
But hor, if I confront the teacher, I’m putting my dauther at risk. Some teacher have this mentality, “Ok, you don’t like how I teach your daughter then from today onwards I’m not going to care what she do.” So you tell me la. What am I going to do? Just sit there like nothing happen? Some people might say, “Cane on the palm only wert. Can die meh?” So you tell me la. Can die or not. Don’t tell me the teacher never forget things? A child is still human wat. A child cannot forget to bring books meh? Don’t tell me the teacher never forget to bring books during her younger days. The more I say, the more I want to **** the teacher.
Adrian said,
April 10, 2007 @ 3:55 pm
I do not believe in physical punishment, and I am totally against it. I don’t do that to my nieces. and all I have to do is to stare at her and she would cry already. Yet I have not caned her or beaten her in anyway. I will reason with her.
Dealing with this kind of teacher is a headache, but we have to understand that they are facing 20 students or more, and the headache they are facing is huge. So sometimes they resort to physical punishment.
I would suggestion two things:-
1. If they have a Parent Body (something like an organization form my parents to deal with ongoing issues with the school), join them and make your point there.
2. Talk to the principal about physical punishment and your view against it.
Of course, you have to handle this situation with extra care and delicate since this is often a sensitive issue.
Hisham said,
April 10, 2007 @ 4:01 pm
By the way, SJ:
Caning = kena cane
Canning = put in cans
The Queen says: Yes, Cikgu! During my time in Std 5 under “magic stick” teacher, we get a good whip on the palm with her “magic stick” for every spelling mistake. See! No matter how many time she cane me, I still can’t spell up to today. I seriously need help!
the Razzler said,
April 10, 2007 @ 4:53 pm
Queen .. I am sure it hurts deep, deep inside to see your Princess being punished `severely’ due to her carelessness. It is a rather sticky situation to pin point whether the Teacher HAD carried out the punishment too far and I am sure little Princess will remember this episode of her life which she WILL share with her children in future .. 🙂 🙂 It’s all part of growing up.
Perhaps a subtle note to the Teacher to voice your concern over the incident & at the same time, your appreciation for her patience (reverse Psychology) towards Princess and subtly leave your contact for her to call you in case of similar incidences in future.
Who knows both of you may even become bosom friends.
The Queen says: Thank you for your wise comment. Very nicely written. But I don’t like that last part. Hmmm… maybe I’ll pass you her number if I manage to get them 😉
JC said,
April 10, 2007 @ 5:20 pm
Make sure the teacher is a guy before you go and **** him…
Remember those days when we were caned on the palm by the teacher with the “magic stick”?
Don’t worry so much… we turned out alright and I’m sure you and I can’t remember those incidents when we were at 7.. take it easy…
The Queen says: I remember those days under her teaching as I was in Std 5! Good thing I was not 7 y/o or else I would have internal bleeding by then. But don’t you think it’s kinda cruel to introduce physical punishment at such a tender age? Worst still, it’s not even half of the schooling term. Gawd knows how innocent is their unpolluted mind.
huisia said,
April 10, 2007 @ 8:30 pm
Personally, i think you better don’t proceed to teacher (the reason like what you said), in fact what you told your DD is right. Confront teacher if this happens again, else just forgive it.
The Queen says: Ya, I have no choice but to use my blog as a punching bag 🙁 !Â
DeV|LisH said,
April 10, 2007 @ 10:49 pm
Sometimes teacher have their own difficulties also. Parents send their child to school to get educated but when they got punish by teacher parents tend to complain. That’s why nowadays most kids turn out like wat? U can try to compare kids nowadays with kids in our days. We also ever been punish before but i never remember also. Consider lucky just palm. But like i said maybe ur princess never been cane before so first incident sure trauma. Just like my sis watched the teacher cane the friend she came back telilng us she duwan to go to school anymore. But we never bother we said u must go for ur own good. Then eventually she learn to overcome it. I’m not saying ur princess is a spoilt brat but as long teacher didn’t go overboard let them do their duty. Oh ya for your info as far as i know teacher don’t have the right to cane student so i doubt she cane her damn hard. Only discipline teacher get to cane or the headmaster. U can check with the school unless gov change the ruling.
The Queen says: That last part makes me think if I should go and ask the Headmaster about caning in class. 🙂
Simple American said,
April 11, 2007 @ 12:28 am
I’m glad to see that some place in the world will still punish a child. But caning for forgetting a book is a bit much. Does not seem appropriate for the act.
If she used Tae Kwan Do on a classmate, I could see caning her. If she told the teacher to “ef” off, I could see the cane.
Forgetting a book, is regrettable. I think writing “I will not forget my book” a few score times to be more appropriate.
Hope the Princess feels better. Most of all I hope she remembers her book. Big hug for her.
The Queen says: Â One day if her teacher happens to send her daughter to my house for art tuition, and if her daughter forgot to bring her brushes, *rubbing hand in glee* Â it’s revenge time.
Odysseus said,
April 11, 2007 @ 6:49 am
SJ, Let the kids get some caning in school as long as the teachers don’t go overboard. Discipline is essential to help kids to be better. So, cheer up and let the kids go to school 🙂 They will continue to grow.
The Queen says: How do you classified “overboard”? Sometimes, things get out of hand when we found about it.
Zazu said,
April 11, 2007 @ 8:38 am
Life isn’t fair all the time… but it’s a learning experience nonetheless
The Queen says:Â Ya lor 🙁
yenjai.net said,
April 11, 2007 @ 8:46 am
No matter how I said it, I am a ‘biased’ opinion.
I have never been a naughty kid. In fact, I would say that I am a rather good character since young. The problem is, I have changed to a new school when I was at Standard 4. During that time, they don’t have any slot in the good classes, so they just ‘conveniently’ put me into the worst class.
Obviously, after studying there for a month, and after the final exam, I got ‘promoted’ to the best class.
That ‘stint’ in the last class, is like ‘a chip on my shoulder’. The teacher will forever remember me as … a bad student, miraculously promoted to the best class.
If I ever forget to bring my homework （I really have a hard time coping with the new school, and their homework), I will get caned, infront of the class.
It started with one. Then it proceed to two. Two cane per day. Then it proceed to … If I remember correctly, I sometimes gotten 5 caning in a day!
Worst still, is the ridicule that comes during the caning. The teacher said something like ” Your father will be very shameful to have a kid like you”
Do you know how hurtful it can be to a 10 year old kid?
25 years later, it is still very fresh in my memory.
The Queen says: Wah very tramatic childhood hor. pssst…you should go and scratch her car.
Lydia Teh said,
April 11, 2007 @ 10:40 am
Queen, it does seem ridiculous for the teacher to cane a child for forgetting to bring her book. They don’t seem to bother with the type of offence, the cane is used across the board. I think you did the right thing by not talking to the teacher about this, she might just single out your child and make life difficult for her. This is a good opportunity for you to drum into Princess’s head that she has to be responsible for her actions even if it is something as minor as forgetting to pack her book.
yenjai, I’m sorry to hear of the teacher who made scathing comments like “your father will be shameful…”
The Queen says: Wah, LydiaTeh comment in my blogggggggggggggggggg!!!!! Thanks for dropping by with your wise comment. 🙂
Iris said,
April 11, 2007 @ 1:16 pm
I really feel angry for Jessie. In Singapore, a teacher cannot anyhow cane the students. The parents can bring this up to the principals. As in Singapore, students are our customers, we need to provide good service so feedbacks are welcome. Any small things happened, if the complain goes up to the principal and if the principal did nothing the parents will bring it up to the Ministry of Education, then the government will step in and do something.
I am in no position to say anything cos i do not know how Malaysia Goverment work la, but if i am the parents i won’t let the teacher go cos i believe that the teacher has her responsibility and b cos of my complaint and she bear grudges on my kids then i will make sure she lost her job. Oooo. fierce huh? sorry ah.. cos i always think since i paid money to the school to educate my kids i expect something from them.
The Queen says: If I’m not wrong you send your kids to a private school. Probably the rules in private school is more strict. Like what you say, parents are the consumer so customer is always right. My daughter is in government school. If small thing like this we complain…. jialat lor! So we better sit down quietly and munch on the popcorn.Â
yenjai.net said,
April 11, 2007 @ 1:18 pm
Jessie, nah. I told you, I am not of such character.
That’s why, it is very very hurtful to say that my dad will be shameful of me.
That hurt much more than the caning.
Fast forward. 12 years later. I went into University. Apparently, I have left all my notes with my younger sister, and all the ‘answers’ which I did myself (for all the previous years STPM).
Quite a few student come pinjam the ‘model answer’ from my sister.
Alas. One of them … is the daughter of this particular teacher!!!
My sister know my ‘traumatic’ past. She actually called me up in Uni, to ask whether I want to lend the answer to this girl ……..
The Queen says: Wah, nice continuation story. Part 3 maciam mana? Got pinjam or not.Â
Allan said,
April 11, 2007 @ 2:56 pm
I feel sad for princess….But to be honest when teacher want to canned a student any reason will do…I remember i was get canned in the butt because my drawing was not beautiful,what can i do?Go smash the teacher cars or ask other people to teach the teacher a lesson??? I am not hooligan or gangster…I can’t do that..All i can do is tolerate and spread those news that this school teacher sucks….I hope you will get your revenge soon,cannot let people bully all the time…
The Queen says: When teacher want to cane have to see what age, what situation, what offence. Your incident is a bit too much tho. Aiyah, nothing to revenge la. Just a small issue. Wait for the big one to come then only I step up to PIBG!Â
eve said,
April 11, 2007 @ 4:57 pm
If the same thing happen to my daughter , u can be assured i will face the teacher….of course i will be angry but i will try to talk to her nicely..If the father knows , i think he will move her to another school and ASK me to write a letter to the principal..Ohhh..I feel your pain and anger…We are both mothers ma…
The Queen says: Wah, your low kong so fierce wan ka. Our children is our flesh and blood. Of course we very sayang them and we always do what is best for them. It’s the individual opinion that differ.
zee zee said,
April 11, 2007 @ 5:13 pm
Hi Queen,
Love your blog. My first on this blog. Read abt ur princess. Sori to knw she has to go thru’ such ‘dramatic’ turn. I feel one shud not keep quiet abt it. Most parents I know will just keep quiet with the misguided notion that their kids will be victimized. If every parent were to do that the teacher will feel it’s ok and she will continue to terrorize the children. If we put our foot down she will know what are her limits. Talk to her in a nice diplomatic way. Still give her face. Problem oli start if she feels defensive. Give her your reasoning. I feel teachers nowadays are using the cane too willingly without bothering to hear reasons. If she victimize yr kid, take it up to the HM. Show her u r no push over.
That’s my 2 bits sense.
The Queen says: Thanks for dropping by, Zee. I’m looking at the brighter side as this is just a small issue. Glad that so many parent drop by and give their best opinion and such. Actually hor, I don’t have the guts to complain. sheeshhh…
Carrie said,
April 11, 2007 @ 6:47 pm
Children these days are very difficult to handle. They are smarter and more complex as compared to our generation in the past.
In the past, whenever we get punished by the teachers in sch, be it been made to stand thruout the lesson or ganna caned on the palm or pull ear or watever kind of punishment tat was, we will nv dare to tell the parents when we got home cos our parents had drilled into our minds the teacher had every right to punish u and if u got punished, it’s becos u did something wrong. So nv once we dared to complain.
But now, becos we (the parents) are more educated and we know our “consumer’s” rights (as mentioned above by Iris), we confront the teacher (most of the time in a most undesirable fashion) as to why our children got punished. If things are not “solved” in the way which would satisfy the parent, the parent will blow up the matter and proceed to complain straight to the Ministry of Education. The MOE will then investigate and end up it’s like a simple act of teacher disciplining a student can cause so much implications to the teacher and school. Naturally over time, the teachers will be discouraged to be bothered wif the “not-so-obedient” children. Why care? Why shld I end myself into trouble for disciplining someone’s child?
I am NOT condoning tat the teacher has EVERY right to punish or cane a child. If use at the right time and wif the right punishment, by all means, pls go ahead and discipline my child for me cos for tat 6 hrs or more when my child is in school, there’s no way for me to know if my child is well-behaved.
It’s sad to say tat most modern parents now regard the teachers as a “service provider” and their ONLY duty is to teach wat’s in the TEXTBOOKS. No more or less.. A teacher’s job now is no longer a mentor or disciplinarian. I have heard things like “I have paid u (teacher) to teach my child and not to discipline”. I rest my case.
I think we shld ask ourselves by us going thru the ‘traditional” way of teaching and growing up, are we in a very bad state now? And being overly (most of the time unnecessarily) protective, are the children much better off now? I certainly dun think so.
Oops, paiseh, I think I have said too much on ur comment box, Jessie. But I think u did the most brilliant (and correct) thing tat a parent shld do in such a situation, i.e. to comfort ur child and yet acknowledge tat she’s at fault and hence the punishment. This way she will not feel so victimised by the entire episode. I’m sure she will and has gotten over this incident 😉
The Queen says: Wah, Carrie! Very nicely put in words. What you say is quite true. Infact, daughter did not tell me about the incident. I ask her when she comes home from school in the evening if teacher cane her for forgetting to bring her book. She lied to me by saying no. The next morning, she just broke down all of a sudden and started crying. I asked her one more time and she confessed. By then, I know she is tramatized over the incident. Dang! And it’s a morning where I usually rush to work. So cannot nag at her or else she would even cry louder. The best thing is to console her and acknowledge her mistake.
Bengbeng said,
April 11, 2007 @ 7:12 pm
I beg to differ. If benghui does wrong in school, I will consent to him being beaten. He is not being physically assaulted or anything. He is just being lead on the right path. If not, he will just do things his own way. He comes home and tells me what happens in school. In society at large we expect everybody to behave too and conform.
But every child has different thresholds for stress. Princess was obviously traumatized by it. But by and by, in the long run, I believe she will be the better for it. Just like you tell a kid not to run too fast etc and then they fall, they learn. Anyway that’s my take on the issue. She is being beaten not for not bringing the book. It is to instill the values when the kid is still reachable.
I asked my kid on the issue. He told me if it were him ( 8yrs old and a boy ) he wouldn’t like it but he will receive it because he did wrong. My good friend’s son is now 13 year’s old and totally wild. His parents practised modern methods and now at 13 it is too late. he just won’t listen any more. In chinese we say kua ka kui : be more broad minded 🙂
I hope I haven’t offended any body. If I do, i sincerely apologize.
The Queen says: Initially I have the same thought as you. She deserved to be caned if she makes mistakes. But put it in another way. That is your child and it’s just a book not a big offence like stealing or fighting. But I ask you la, in another incident, I do ask daughter if anyone didn’t do their homework, will the teacher cane them? She say no. Teacher will ask them to do it immediately and pass-up. So? Now you see some issue here? Not doing homework is laziness. Laziness can’t be forgiven but forgetful is a “disease”.
NOthing to apologize, Bengbeng. There’s always 2 side of a coin. People tend to have different perspective. I do respect yours and thanks for dropping by with your humble opinion. I hope we are not here to argue anything. I just like to find out what is other parents point of view on this issue.Â
sila said,
April 12, 2007 @ 8:26 am
poor princess!
i’m not against moderate corporal punishment, but i think maybe caning a 7 year old for forgetting her book is a bit much la. hope she takes this as a lesson, and will try her best to remember to bring her book from now on!
The Queen says:Â Sila, can you help me to ask your mom for her opinion? Oh, and please say hi to her too 😉
Carrie said,
April 12, 2007 @ 10:53 am
Jessie,
After I read tat the Princess’ teacher caned those who’s forgetful and not those who are lazy, then I think u shld at least speak to the teacher abt ur concern. I am not against punishment per se, but it seems like the teacher is not good at giving the right punishment.
But then again, I think such things shld be an issue dealth by adults and not let princess know tat she’s gotten the wrong punishment. Otherwise in future, these children will always doubt if the teacher is right to punish them and it’ll be hard to make them learn their mistake.
Btw, I’m speaking in the context of a Singaporean and it’s purely my personal view on how I wan my child to learn 😉
Iris said,
April 12, 2007 @ 11:05 am
I got no kids yet. Wahaha!! I am working in government sector where we train all teachers in Singapre. All government schools are under government control. As for private school infact they are not as strict.
Teachers are scare to canne students cos if the parents not happy they will bring the matters up to the TV station and unknowingly the teacher will became famous overnight. Heehee…
I guess Malaysia not as strict la. As i truly und how ppl work thr.
I truly und your dilemma… I guess got to take it lor ya..
velverse said,
April 12, 2007 @ 11:21 am
Well… hhehehe… sounds like a difficult position.
At times it is the job of a good & bad cop. Like when I was a kid… my mum will be the good cop while my dad will be otherwise.
I guess that sorta brings the balance.
Then again, I guess the caning gives a good lesson for your princess will be more alert. At times we must actually learn from mistakes 🙂
Well, I sorta blame the DHA in milks which causes childrens to be hyperactive and uncontrolable hence.. at times, I really do agree on caning kids… but then again.. not to the extend of torturing them lar.
Sigh… Hard to be parents hor? That is why my mama always say.. “wait till you be a mama yourself, then you know”.
Immomsdaughter said,
April 12, 2007 @ 3:47 pm
Aiyo, I had wanted to write a similar post. Yes, I cane my kids but I am also not happy/upset my Ryan, also 7 y/o like your princess gets caned at school. Yep, he got caned because he did not bring his book too. And another occassion he got caned on the leg because he was too noisy or naughty.
What gives the teacher the right to cane? And I am like you too, I fear when I complain, I’ll open up more opportunities for my son to be bullied 😛 And yes again, my son is also in Gov’t school so cannot expect to much *sigh*
The Queen says: *hold hand and cry* I think we are in the same boat. Hopefully our child will be better after all these caning. *sigh…
fishingman said,
April 12, 2007 @ 5:48 pm
Hi have not been here a while, sorry to hear about your daughters episod.
IMHO it not a really big deal. Nothing compared to what we went through. She’ll probably be more careful when packing her bag next time as well.
But I do think that chinese school teachers are a bit too much in using the cane! I still remember those char kuey teow, sin chow mai etc etc from the chinese class teacher. If you put a mask over the bugger’s head he’s probably look like Zorro! I doubt using the cane so much will hepl the students remember better, instead it’ll make them terrified to go to class. Can’t learn much in class when your shaking with fear now can we?
There’s still a certain standard 5 teacher who like to pinch our midsection till bleeding sometimes that I’ll like to settle the score with. Hmph!
sasha said,
April 13, 2007 @ 3:01 pm
finally i can come to your blog officially and comment. (i used to work in yr sis’ company ..thats why ;)). anyway abit susah also la. Approach the teacher…susah. Don’t approach then we feel susah. How? SUSAH LAH!
just me said,
April 14, 2007 @ 6:42 am
I guess your daughter is in a Chinese school where the culture of caning a student is a normal thing to do. A friend of mine whose son has been caned before did approach one such teacher and was told ” You can always send your son to another school.”
Bernard said,
April 14, 2007 @ 11:30 pm
Kesian, princess… I don’t condone caning at school, epecially in public. If there policy is to cane for some specific disciplinary problem, it should be in private and accompanied by counseling. I don’t think that forgetting to bring a book to school deserves caning.
zee zee said,
April 15, 2007 @ 7:02 pm
Caning (with limits) is fine wif me if my kid did something wrong. But forgetting a book? Reprimand her yes. No need to raise yr hand. I remember when my eldest was in primary sch. There was this teacher who was so fierce and pick on every little things. She scares the daylight out of him tat he actually was vomiting and complain of tummy ache. Took him to Doc. thinking some virus attack. Surprise surprise, doc actually told me its all in his mind and enquire abt his sch. I korek korek bit by bit frm my son. Tats how I found out. (no wonder he was reluctant to go to sch prior few days b4 tat). Spoke to d teacher (my son was begging me not to) to let her knw of my son condition. Not to cast blame but for her to understand. She was so defensive n started to raise her voice. Kept my calm n told her, am not blaming but for her to knw what my son is going thru’. N u knw wat she changed after tat. She was so much nicer.
Teachers those days and nowadays are way way different. They r so stress bunch nowadays tat they take it out on d kids without good reasoning. Am not saying all teachers but sadly, most of them are.